That’s pretty much what happened to this blog.  About five times.  Ebb, flow.  But things have changed as of late.  I have a degree (BA in Communication Theory, La Sierra University).  I live in a house with my band (facebook: good creation).  I have a new job.  I’m writing music again.  And most noticeably, I am once again wasting away hours of my life in front of a computer screen, as I have recently given in to the pressures of my peer group by starting a Facebook page.  And, it’s official: I am an addict.  But I realized I needed something better to do than just sit there clicking the refresh button.  Suddenly I remembered I had this blog, and it was clear what I needed to do.  Wean myself off of Facebook slowly with the help of blogging.

What I’m going to do is this.  Brief philosophical idea, then football talk. I shant disappoint either of my audiences.

The Problem of Evil – This is a very important and heavily discussed concept in philosophy.  It is really simple, but you need to see it laid out like this to really understand this building block of philosophical discussion.

(1) God is all good

(2) God is all powerful

(3) Evil exists

This is called the “problem” of evil because it creates a dilemma.  If God is all good and also all powerful, why doesn’t he eradicate evil?  Some explanations suggest that God might be partly evil, others say that perhaps he isn’t all powerful. My favorite explanation might have to be the “best of all possible worlds” explanations.  It says that the best possible world must have to necessarily contain evil, because a good God would have created the best world he possibly could, and our world contains evil.  I think there is a fantastic explanation of that idea that I base some of my own belief structure on, but alas, I said “brief” philosophical idea.

Football as Promised

I haven’t written about my Ducks all year, which is probably good. I haven’t gotten a chance to ride super high on them, hype them up, make a bunch of claims and promises about what they are going to do to the teams on their upcoming schedule, and ultimately jump their shark vicariously.  Should I take that opportunity now?  Eh.

Instead, I’m going talk about my thoughts on the apparent Pac-12 divisional split, which at this point is a North-South split.  It puts Stanford and California in with the Oregon and Washington schools in the North, and newcomers Utah and Colorado with the LA and Arizona schools in the South.  People talk about a competitive disadvantage for the North because of recruiting and whatever, but I am stoked about the prospects.  Oregon, Stanford, and Oregon State are very strong programs.  Washington used to be, and could be again under Sarkesian.  California can be competitive, but they tend to choke.  I shouldn’t say tend to, they ALWAYS choke.  So they could be a spoiler team in the North division.  But then again, if they are deep into the Duck’s schedule, maybe they could be ranked by the time we meet them so our tailback’s cleats can be what gets lodged in their throats.

The South division would seem to look pretty decent right now too, mostly on the backs of Arizona and Utah.  But Utah’s high ranking might be slightly based on the favorability of their schedule, and Arizona is still struggling to get past the cusp of good-programhood.  And right now, it looks like it will take USC a long time to get even close to their former stature.  UCLA looked good against a weakened Houston team, and looked dominant against a Longhorns squad that is in disarray, but have struggled against three teams from the Northern division, losing to Cal and Stanford, and pulling away late from the Cougars.  I don’t really have a lot to say about Colorado.  They may be poised to be the Washington State of the South.

My dream division would be Oregon, Oregon State, Stanford, USC, Utah, and a final spot for whoever proves they deserve it this year (namely Arizona).

MOST LIKELY TO:

Be dominant – North Division
Become a fan of the blog – You
Play reggae – Good Creation
Be good to go vs. UCLA – Kenjon Barner and Darron Thomas

“No more neon-piss-colored helmets?  We might actually make it to a BCS bowl!”

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the Oregon Ducks Football team has done it again.  Their fourth major uniform redesign this decade.  Honestly, I really liked the diamond plating look of the previous rotation of jerseys, but I would definitely say that of all of the schemes they’ve worn over the past ten years, this is probably the best all around uniform package.  Why?  Because they minimize the use of yellow, and the yellow that they are going with is a much softer, less visually abrasive tone.  They got rid of those atrocious yellow helmets from the last two seasons, you remember, the ones that look kind of like your pee looks after you drink a triple shot RockStar?  Those things were awful, and I think we had a losing record while wearing them, including a terrible showing in the Las Vegas bowl a few years back.  The current helmet options are much better, featuring the classic shiny green, the white-out look, a new matte black helmet and a super cool-looking carbon fiber finish helmet with a steel “O” logo (photo at top).  They have eliminated the yellow pants from the rotation (great idea) and have changed the font a bit to make the numbers more readable.  The only other major change is the new wing design that was featured on their “Lights Out” uniform, which they wore last year during the Arizona game.  That design has replaced the diamond plating on the shoulder pads, and is apparently more durable than the older jerseys in the shoulder area specifically.

Now that we have eliminated some of the ugliest combinations from the rotation, we might actually be poised to win a conference title and advance to a BCS bowl.  Some of you are probably laughing, thinking that having cool looking jerseys isn’t going to make a difference, especially if you are a Virginia Tech or Clemson fan.  But you know what they say.  You gotta dress for success, baby.

Here are some pictures…

And a link to a video from the Register Guard…

For more in depth information about the new uni’s, check out KATU or GoDucks.com…

MOST LIKELY TO:

Redesign in another 2-3 years – Oregon Ducks
Finally win the conference again – Oregon Ducks
Bitch and moan about new jerseys – Beaver fans, Husky fans, Cal fans
Pull high profile recruits due to non-stagnant unis and nice facilities – Oregon Ducks
Get thumped at Autzen regardless of uniforms – Daaaaaa Beavs

Is it here yet?  Of course not, how silly of me. [pause] Is it here NOW?”

The arrival of the college football season is something that I look forward to every year with extreme anticipation.  Preseason rankings falling to pieces after the first couple weeks, new-look offenses, young players making names for themselves, old coaches showing why they are still with the program, drum squads and horn sections; what more could you ask for?  How about all of that in breathtaking high definition?  You bet.

The cable box at my house just got upgraded such that it now utilizes our television’s HD capabilities.  We are a little behind the curve.  But now I rest assured, knowing that when September 3 rolls around and its time for our Ducks to go tear up that blue turf in Boise, my parents can watch all the action without missing a single muscle twitch or drop of sweat.  That may not seem important, but if you don’t think so, then you’ve never really been a true sports fan.

The difference between watching college football on a regular screen versus a high definition screen is kind of like the difference between living your life without noticing that you have legs, and then finally realizing that they are there.  Once you use them, you can never go back.  I’m serious, this isn’t a stretch.  It’s like, actual, medical fact.  Ask a doctor.  WebMD that mess.

Sporting events aren’t the only things that look better in HD.  Bikini models with ocean water dripping from their bodies also look better in HD.  As do nurse sharks, news reporters, and Norwegian Kringla.

Pretty soon, we’ll be watching high definition meta-television.  Yes.  Reality shows about how television productions are made.  In HD.  Can’t wait.

MOST LIKELY TO:

Enjoy HDTV – My parents
Be stuck watching regular TV in Riverside – me
Not care at that point because the Ducks will be up by three touchdowns in Boise – all three of us
Invent something even cooler to lust after – Sony, Philips, Hitachi
Be ultra-mega bored until September 3 – Me, and all of the Duck Nation

“What the hell is this, anyway?”

Back in the day (both writing periods prior to this one), this blog centered specifically on collegiate sports.  I’m going to try to stay true to that tradition, although I will likely include posts about other levels of sport as well.  I am working on another project website that will host a more general personal blog, but if for some reason that never comes to complete fruition, then the days of this page being dedicated to college sports will be over, and all my adoring fans will loathe their passing.  Or, the myriad random visitors that stumbled upon my site while trying to find something interesting about their favorite team (sorry folks, no such content here) will be even more confused as to why this blog even exists. 

But until then, I’ll try to stay true to my original aim.  Wanna cordially disagree about sports?  Let’s do it.

MOST LIKELY TO: 

Never read this post – you
Quit writing this blog again within a month – me
Get really into it for a week anyway – also me
Read every post I write until I stop – my mom
Read a post or two on the day I sent the link – my girlfriend, my sister, my homies
Be gone by the end of the evening – the orange juice in the fridge

Saturday’s action is far from over, but already a number of interesting stories have developed.  Ohio State barely survived a rough game against Ohio.  Michigan nearly lost to Miami of Ohio.  Ole Miss made it a nail biter with Wake Forest, and East Carolina proved that they deserved to be ranked after totally dominating No. 8 West Virginia and that “potent offense” led by “Heisman Candidate” Pat White.  Washington’s Jake Locker was inappropriately flagged for excessive celebration and the referees handed BYU a close game in Husky Stadium.  And despite what many writers said might be a close game after a number of Penn State suspensions and dismissals, the Nittany Lions handed the Oregon State Beavers their own asses, wrapped up in cellophane in a carefully arranged gift basket of shame.

While that Big Ten victory was rather impressive (and it came over a Pac-10 team which makes my heart hurt just a little), the Big Ten was looking marshmallow soft until it happened.  Yes, Wisconsin and Purdue also got the job done today in convincing fashion, but let’s be honest, they were playing cupcakes.  When Michigan and Ohio State both trail for quite a while and barely hang on to win games that they scheduled as for-sure victories, I said to myself and out loud to my father, “Dude, the Big Ten sucks.”  All I know is, Ohio State needs a complete renovation if they don’t want to be totally embarrassed in the Coliseum next week.  Yeah, USC had the week off, and could look at the Ohio State game and think, “Wow, we are gonna punk these fools,” but you had better believe that regardless of how either team starts the game, USC is going to do Arizona proud and “bear down” in a serious way at home against the perennially overrated Buckeyes.  Boeckman is seriously at risk of being injured, and OSU’s young QB Terrelle Pryor didn’t show nearly enough promise to even challenge USC’s defense at all.  I can’t wait for the Big Ten’s best team to get trounced by the Pac-10’s best, a USC team that ends up coughing up a couple games most years regardless of being the conference champion.  Says something about the strength of the conference versus the Big Ten, does it not?

Staying within the Pac-10, my very own Oregon Ducks put up 66 points at home against a ridiculously weak Utah State team, so I can’t get too excited about the point total.  However, I can get excited about a couple of things.  One being the fact that LaGarrette Blount was able to get enough touches to break 100 yards on the ground, another being that a number of other bench players got a chance to gain some experience, and probably one of the best things about this game being that the Ducks were able to get a win wearing those ridiculous yellow helmets that everyone hates so much.  Not only did we break the curse that those helmets have thus far brought, but we were also able to get our one game a year to wear them out of the way safely, leaving the rest of the season potentially yellow-helmet-free.  Good idea, Ducks.

As I struggled to decide which story from the world of sports I wanted to touch on today, I found that there may not be a clear-cut candidate that is worthy of an entire post to itself, and this being the case I will combine a few stories that I feel are particularly noteworthy.

A Championship Pair (of Violations)

Former Kansas Jayhawks teammates Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur were sent home from an NBA rookie symposium recently because they were caught in their hotel room with girls (a violation of the symposium’s “no visitors” rule) and probably more importantly with marijuana (a violation of the “no drugs” rule and, well, the law).  While the media has been pretty rough on these two for making poor decisions, especially before they have even made their regular season NBA debut, I would like to point out how stupid we would all be to imagine that this kind of thing is rare.  Young men like smoking weed.  Young men like sneaking women into their rooms.  Young men like combining things they like, like weed and women, for instance.  But typically, a lot of young men can’t scrape together the finances to both a) purchase marijuana and b) buy dinner/drinks/etc for women in order to get them to sneak into their rooms.  But once you sign a multi-million dollar contract, suddenly both of those things are really easy to pull off.  I’m not perfect either.  I’ve smoked weed.  I’ve snuck women around.  Hell, I’ve even combined the two, so I can’t really dog these two for those things.  But I can really seriously question their timing.  Why not take a four day break from weed and women while the NBA is trying to teach you how to handle things just like this?  Once your symposium is over and you aren’t under the direct supervision and regulation of the NBA, you can do what you will in your own house on your own time, whether or not your decisions are intelligent.  A lot of people who are less educated about marijuana would insist that bad timing is not the issue but instead it would be a moral issue or perhaps just as serious of a substance abuse policy violation as the steroid scandal.  To those people, I would like to suggest that unless these two were competing in the National Artists League or the Competitive Music Creation Association, the only thing that marijuana is going to enhance is their capacity for eating Fun-yuns.

Sloppy Execution

On the same topic, four Penn State football players have been suspended for Saturday’s game against perennial Pac-10 spoiler Oregon State after police officers entered their apartment and seized a small amount of marijuana.  This seems even less surprising to me than the Chalmers/Arthur situation.  College kids smoking weed?  YOU ARE KIDDING ME!  What is happening in our society?  Oh yeah, the same thing that has been going on for years.  I’m sure this also happens literally all the time everywhere around the country.  College athletes smoke weed just as any regular college students smoke weed; surprisingly often.  I’m not saying that it’s a great idea or that they should be excused from their suspension, but I would contend that the real story here is the surprising laziness that getting caught by the police indicates.  Most college kids that smoke weed never get caught, either by their parents, their deans, campus security, and certainly not the actual police.  But one would assume that college athletes, who have something to lose, would be a little more careful about their illegitimate operations.  Again, this sounds like I am condoning this behavior, but basically my feelings about the whole thing center around the fact that I am not at all removed from the college environment so the most surprising thing to me is the sloppy execution, regardless of how pro-marijuana I am coming across in this post.

An Arrogant Bastard By Any Other Name

Last, and probably also least, is the “Ocho Cinco.”  Former Oregon State WR and current Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Johnson (or should I say the athlete formerly known as Chad Johnson) has successfully changed his legal name to “Chad Ocho Cinco,” and by doing so he officially claims the top spot on both the Stupidest Athletes and Cockiest Athletes lists.  Congratulations, Chad.  Now he can actually wear the “Ocho Cinco” name on the back of his jersey without ripping it off in the pre-game warm-ups.  Honestly, this is probably one of the most ridiculous things that has happened in the NFL in the past year, which hasn’t exactly been a smooth ride for the league, or for commissioner Goodell.  When I heard about it I thought it was a joke.  Now that I know it’s real, it’s even more of a joke than I thought it was to begin with.  This worries me about the coming generations of youth.  I never like to see athletes get injured, but wouldn’t it be ironic if 85 got hurt and for the rest of his career he could never get his health back up any higher than 85 percent?  Then the name would take on a whole new hilariously deserved meaning.

MOST LIKELY TO:

Smoke weed – college students

Win in Happy Valley on Saturday – Nittany Lions

“Fly High” in the NBA – Mario Chalmers                                         

Eat Fun-yuns – potheads

Have only begun his long list of shenanigans for this season – the athlete formerly known as Chad Johnson

Before I write a post in which I rattle off all kinds of stats from the 44-10 stomping of UW that the Ducks issued last Saturday night (which I promise I will), I am going to add to the never-ending argument about college football conference strength.  I hit on this argument in a previous post, and given a recent blog posting by my main man Ted Miller, who writes the Pac-10 blog for ESPN’s website, I decided it was important to reiterate.  But don’t go thinking I just feed off of other people’s blogs for my own material (although I often reference Ted Miller), I was also inspired to write about this after watching UCLA knock of Tennessee in overtime Monday night.

Every season, we hear about how strong the SEC is and just how much in front of the other BCS conferences they are.  They have “incredible depth” and “extremely tough schedules” which allows the pundits to forgive multiple losses and let them play in major bowl games while teams from the other “weaker” conferences get left out.  Yes, the SEC has long been successful, and it has much to do with their geographic locale and the culture that exists there.

The Big 12 and the Big Ten have also been lauded throughout history as being football powerhouses, and it cannot be denied that in the past, they indeed have produced much success.  Michigan, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Penn State (among others), are all tremendous programs that have perennially been competitors.  Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Nebraska have been great in the past, although lately the latter two have been replaced in the marquee by Missouri, Kansas, and Texas Tech.  This speaks to the verifiable strength of the Big 12.  Now, while the Big 12 will make a lot of noise this year and should be rewarded for it, the Big Ten is more a less a joke.  Ohio State is going to get beat soundly by USC, Michigan is going to struggle again, and we all know what Oregon is going to do to Purdue.  I’ll give the Big Ten Penn State, they will probably have a solid year.

The beef that I have (again, reiterating) is with the SEC’s insistence that they are so much stronger than the Pac-10.  Since 1998, when the BCS era began, the Pac-10 is 10-6 vs. the SEC.  Ten wins, six losses.  Sure, its not total domination or anything, but it is a comfortable margin, and given the fact that the SEC seems to think they dominate other conferences, it’s an interesting contradiction.

A highlight in this argument as of late was Monday night’s shocker in Pasadena.  UCLA, a team picked by many to finish in the middle of the bottom half of the Pac-10, knocked off an 18^th ranked Tennessee team that many pundits said was flying under the radar in the SEC and was poised to challenge for the conference title.  Sure, it wasn’t a blowout, and in the first half it was totally ugly.  But they bottom line is that UCLA gave Tennessee the ball FOUR TIMES in the first half on interceptions, and even with those turnovers the Vols were unable to get it done against a team they were supposed to easily dispose of.  That’s two years in a row that Tennessee has come out west and been beaten by a Pac-10 team at the beginning of the season (last year they were beaten by Cal at Memorial Stadium).

We’ll see what the Sun Devils can do when Georgia rolls into the desert in a few weeks.  Honestly I think that will bump the count to 10-7 overall, but it would really strengthen my argument if they pull the upset in Tempe.

And to reiterate yet again, USC is going to beat Ohio State, but that is hardly going out on a limb.

MOST LIKELY TO:

Win in Tempe – Georgia Bulldogs

Beat SEC opponents in major bowl games – Pac-10 teams

Still refer to the depth of the SEC even after Tenn and MSU got upset in Week 1 – sports writers from anywhere other than West Coast

Do hundreds and hundreds of pushups on Saturdays this season – me (Oregon points)

Suffer a letdown after a great victory in their opener – UCLA

Start reading this blog – millions of people

Through the Looking Glass

Well I’ll be.  Turns out I finally decided to keep this blog going.  If you have paid any attention whatsoever to my posts in the past, or if you have taken a moment to read my about page, my primary focus is college sports.  However, now that this blog exists solely as a venue for me to express myself and publish the many random ponderings that I undertake as I make my way through life instead of as an assignment for one of my classes (the reason I ever started this in the first place), all those lucky enough to stumble upon this page will have their lives enriched in more areas that just collegiate athletic knowledge.  Who knows, perhaps through my endless ranting about things I love, hate, find peculiar or particularly important, someone’s life will be changed for the better, and I will have ultimately succeeded in doing what it was that I set out to do; earn readers.

It is probably pretty obvious to anyone who actually knows me what the motivation for getting back into the blogosphere was.  College Football season kicked off this weekend, and lots of unexpected things happened, along with some very expected and highly regular things.  But there is much to say about the first few days, and I will be posting my thoughts and observations later this evening.

I hope everyone’s summer has been at least as fun and interesting as mine, which was filled with periods of nomadic wandering amongst long, boring stretches of nothing but waiting for the football season and staying up late watching Planet Earth eating ramen.  Can’t wait to get back to the LSU campus for fall term!

MOST LIKELY TO:

Allow this blog to fall off again somewhere mid-season – me
Watch football every Saturday and not give a rat’s ass on Sunday – me again
Have a barbeque when Cal hosts Oregon – JReezy and me
Never read this post – Anybody
Not care if anyone reads it – Still me

A lot of hubbub has resulted from the University of Oregon’s tendency to rock all different kinds of crazy uniforms lately.  They have a pretty huge deal with Nike, whose president, Phil Knight, founded the company along with former track coach Bill Bowerman on the campus of the U of O back in the glory days of TrackTown, USA, Eugene, Oregon.  They started out with a waffle iron and a sewing machine, making shoes for Oregon’s track athletes and scheming up business plans.  Now they’ve become one of the most profitable apparel companies in the world.

One of the side effects of that whole progression is that the Ducks get special attention when it comes to uniform design.  Many of you have probably seen their lineup of football jerseys, but just in case, here is a link to what they look like.

They have gone through some transitions over the past decade or so, switching from the old school varsity style lettering and basic solid colors and tubing accents of the nineties into the Roboduck look of the Joey Harrington/Maurice Morris/Onterrio Smith years, dabbling with some funny rounded shapes of green and yellow during the Jason Fife/Kellen Clemens era, and have finally arrived where they are today.

A lot of people can’t stand their uni’s, suggesting that they are too busy, too diverse, or downright ugly.  I for one love the look.  They have 48 different combinations, featuring three different helmet colors (green, yellow, which should never be worn again, and white) and also a bunch of jersey and pant variations from all black to all white and including various combinations of green and yellow.  Plus, on the shoulder and knee pads, they have that diamond plating pattern that makes them look as though they were built from steel like a truckbed or a running board.  They look tough, and I absolutely love when they play home games in all black and green.  The best phrase to describe their all-dark look is “smooth criminals.”

I already wrote about one of the newest additions to the football roster, LaGarrette Blount, and mentioned that the combo of uniforms was appealing to him.  The coolest part was that he mentioned that he loved the multiple uni’s because he didn’t want to play for a team that seems stagnant, and with a new look every game, it’s hard to look anything other than fresh.

People can whine about the deal with Nike all they want, but they are probably just jealous that their school’s deal with Nike is worth a lot less money.

MOST LIKELY TO:

Whine some more – Beaver and Husky fans

Look like pimps – Oregon Ducks

Make bank for years to come – Nike

Be able to live off the money he already has forever – Phil Knight

Lose if they wear the yellow helmets again – Oregon Ducks

Buy a jersey – me

One of the most fascinating things on the periphery of the sporting world is superstition.  Superstitions range from the expected to the absolutely absurd.  And they aren’t just left for the players.  They are in fact probably more fun to talk about in regards to the fans.  Sure, there have been some documented superstitions from major athletes, like eating chicken in the dugout, drawing crosses on the pitcher’s mound, wearing one’s old school shorts underneath their jersey, even wearing the opposing team’s uniform the night before.  But surely one would expect to find much more variation and aforementioned absurdity amongst the millions of sports fans.

We all saw that Coke commercial with that guy from Virginia Tech drinking enough cans of Coke while watching the game to spell out the VT logo, and as much as I love the excitement and pageantry in that ritual, my heart goes out to his pancreas.  Good luck with diabetes, VT guy.

You may have also seen that commercial with the Texas Longhorns fan freaking out after his team loses a game.  He runs to the closet, rips off the jersey his is wearing, and pulls out one of the many other identical jerseys he has in his closet.  Surely winning and losing is all in the threads.

I have my own rituals.  Being a ridiculously passionate Oregon Ducks fan, I must wear Oregon gear on game day.  That seems simple enough right?  Well it doesn’t stop there.  After every touchdown or field goal, I have to crank out pushups equivalent to the score.  Pssssh, oh please Denby, any major college football fan cranks out some pushups.  I’ll keep going.  I have a lucky keychain with a squishy Oregon helmet on it, and when I really need them to do well, I press on that thing with my right thumb.  If I realize at some point during the game we are not doing well, I analyze the position in which I am sitting, and the number of Oregon themed articles I am wearing.  If I come to find out that I am wearing an even number of articles, I rectify the situation immediately by adding one and making the total number odd.  Sometimes, I even pray, but I’m not sure that counts as superstition.

When I was younger, I had crazy rituals for the night before a basketball game.  I used to eat three bowls of Trix, followed by one in the morning, and I had a specific shower routine.  I would first wash my hair, what little of it I may have had, and then I would scrub myself all over and then scrub only in places where I felt an itchy sensation.  Then, once nothing itched, I would wash my face.  If for some reason, I was distracted and did these things out of order, I would start over and do it all again.

The day of the game, I would kiss the roadrunner logo in the middle of our court three times, usually during our pre-game warm-up.  I would sit cross-legged in the middle of it, eyes closed, meditating on an awesome athletic performance, and if anybody bothered me, I’d start again until I mentally spoke myself all the way through this sequence of positive thoughts.

Am I the only one who does a bunch of weird stuff like this?

MOST LIKELY TO:

Think I’m crazy – you

Win because I’m such a good fan – Oregon Ducks

Know from the get-go that I’m wearing three articles – me

Get diabetes – VT guy

Hook ‘em – Texas Guy

Not make any difference whatsoever – fan rituals